


In Your Eyes

by littlemisfit5290



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Prompt Fic, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 15:03:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6289222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemisfit5290/pseuds/littlemisfit5290
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He looks down at her as she leans back in his arms, his touch. Wonders how the hell she ever expected him to look at her any different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [2momsmakearight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/2momsmakearight/gifts).



> Prompt-  “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.” 
> 
> One shot, no beta, originally posted on Tumblr. Please be gentle with me.

**_i've seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice_ **

  
  
“Mulder, that’s not possible. I just don’t understand how,” Scully chokes out, twisting the bedspread in her clenched hand that she’s staring at, unable to consider meeting his eyes.  
  
“You understand how to question Einstein but you don’t understand the reasoning behind a look?”  
  
“Not when it’s one I don’t deserve,” she says softly, shutting her eyes at the memory.  
  
“The woman from the diner said when I was paying at the counter that you kept staring. Looking at me like you were-”

“My newly wedded wife,” Mulder says. “I heard her, too.”

“Well she was wrong. We’re not even married and even if we were, attracting attention like that.”  
  
“A small town diner and a romantic of a waitress aren’t going to be our downfall, Scully.”

Sitting in front of her on the bed he grasps her trembling hand still twined in the sheet.

“But your saying I look at you in a way you don’t deserve. That just might-”

“What? Put an end to our episode of  _The_   _Fugitive_?” Scully snaps, pulling her hand back.

“Scully…”

“You think I don’t notice but I do. I see it even when I pretend not to or Marge from the Fireside Grill isn’t there to acknowledge it. I know the way you look at me and I have no right to-”  
  
“To what?”

“To accept it. Think that everything’s fine between us because of it!”

“I’m not saying everything is fine!” Mulder shouts. “I’m saying that in spite of things  _not_  being fine the way I feel about you hasn’t-”

“Stop it, Mulder. Damn it, just stop!” Swatting his hand away, Scully tenses. Forces herself to breathe in and out before speaking again, softly.

“I have no right to know. The way you still feel, whatever affection you have. Not after what I’ve done and not after what we’ve endured.”

“Scully, what we’ve endured, you think it hasn’t made me admire you more, have more affection and respect for you? Cherish you more? Without you there’s no way we would have made it this far. There’s no way I’d have made it at all! We’re in a shitty motel in the middle of nowhere and I’m only here because of one damn reason. And that’s that you agreed to follow me.”

“I agreed to follow you. But I did not agree to haunt you,” she says, head bowed. Her voice sounds hollow, like she’s a million miles away instead of less than a foot in front of him. It chills Mulder’s blood. Makes him ache all over.

“Scully…”

“My choices. My decisions. They’re making this even more unbearable for the both of us.”

He hears her voice crack, feels her breakdown coming but she flinches before he can make eye contact or contact at all. Retreating from their bed she folds her arms over herself, moves to stand by the dingy motel room window, look out at the cloudy sky.   
  
Pained, Mulder stands behind her as she shakes her head. Even his strong, silent presence offering support is too much for her to handle now.

“It’s my fault he’s gone, Mulder.”

Shaking his head now, Mulder’s hand instinctually moves to her hair. Sweeping it off her shoulder as she turns. Folds into him. Cautiously before he beckons her further, his arm guiding her against the warm sturdiness of his chest.

“No. I could’ve stayed. I should have stayed. I failed you both.”

“I gave him away. After everything how can you just look at me like…”

“Like I love you?” he asks, a catch in his voice that prompts Scully to turn, meet his eyes.

“Like I do even when you ignore extreme possibilities or you eat bee pollen in your yogurt or you tell me you’re fine when I know for a fact you’re not? Scully, I look at you that way because it’s the only way I know how to. It’s the only way I’m ever going to look at you. Even when you’re not even looking in my direction.”

Still looking up, eyes glistening with tears and relief and love and grief she moves her arms up, holds onto his neck.“I followed you with every intent on looking in your direction, Mulder.”

“Well, I guess there’s just one way we both can look then,” he says just as softly. A suggestion outlined by hope. For them, for their son.  
  
She turns back to look out at the clouds and hidden stars, and he looks down at her as she leans back in his arms, his touch. Wonders how the hell she ever expected him to look at her any different. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [PODFIC of In Your Eyes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7278835) by [Addisonzella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Addisonzella/pseuds/Addisonzella), [littlemisfit5290](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemisfit5290/pseuds/littlemisfit5290)




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